Jay's Chatterbox: Let's talk Batman

Howdy again, my fiendish friends! It's that time again. And by “that time” I mean it's time for a new release of an old classic superhero. The one we all know and have some kind of strong opinion on. The DC darling himself! Martian Manhunter!

No, wait. Batman. We're talking about Batman.

As you all know, today is the opening of the new Batman film in which Robert Pattinson is donning the cowl. I myself have not yet seen the movie and won't be seeing it until next week. So this will not be a review post and, instead, I thought I'd try something different.

We've all seen a Batman at one point, right? He's not exactly a hidden gem tucked away into the back of the store. I mean, for a guy who does most of his work in the shadows, you figure he wouldn't do too well in the spotlight. But what I'd like to do today is talk about all the things I am hoping for this movie.

I want to get the first thing out of the way. The whole Martha and Thomas Wayne bit? Young Bruce watching his parents die? Yeah, I'm hoping not to see it. At this point, Batman's tragic backstory is known by anyone who has picked up a comic book. Even those who have no idea who Batman is would be able to tell you his parents were murdered in front of him. We all know his motive and why Batman's gotta Batman. Can we please get the poor man outside of this Groundhogs Day routine of watching his parents die? Now the writers are just being mean.

Second is more of a hope of something very rare. Many of the people who have done batman fall into one of two categories. They're either a great Batman and a terrible Bruce Wayne, or a great Bruce Wayne and a terrible Batman. In my very humble but also correct opinion, there has only been one to get both of them and that's Michael Keaton. We've all seen Pattinson pull off some pretty good performances. I think he might be able to pull off both Batman and Bruce.

Third and possibly most farfetched; I want them to just fuckin choose a world, choose an actor, and stick with them. DC has been through more actors for their heroes than Marvel's been through Loki deaths. It's like they find someone and get bored then move on to someone else. It's frustrating because I really wanna see Marvel vs DC which can't happen if DC keeps tossing out their heroes and losing them to other projects! (Although, gotta admit, Henry Cavill is amazing as Gerald...)

Anyway, these are my terms, DC. Please deliver because I'm sure many of your fans are sick of hearing the ranting. Please, DC. Think of your fans.

Also, you can expect an actual review of The Batman next week when I get the chance to see it with my own eyes. We will see if it lives up to expectation or not. Not that it really matters considering I'll probably love it like the giant child I am. But! Until next time, my friends.

Fare Thee Well!